Music Notes (Heartbeat #3) Read online

  Then like a woman on a mission, she exited and headed right toward me. “I saw you smiling at me performing this evening. So, do you like what you see?” She was into my chest and all I could see below me were her full breasts pushed together, squeezed into a tiny top. I would have rested my head in those bad boys some time ago, but now, I’m a married man and off the market. I was dumbfounded. I wasn’t trying to lead her on in any way. I was thinking of my wife the entire time I looked at her on the stage. I had to bring my eyes back up to where I could see hers and not her chest. Shit, I better start wearing sunglasses like Ron always does to keep myself out of trouble. It’s probably one of the reasons he doesn’t have issues with his girl Dahlia.

  Hoping she’d take the hint and keep walking, I didn’t answer her. Instead, she stood on her toes and whispered in my ear, “Kick ass out there tonight Rand, and I’ll be waiting to celebrate the end of our California shows with you.” Meila was very attractive, and if I wasn’t married I would be enjoying her coming on to me and celebrating with her later this evening, but that wasn’t me anymore. I shook it off, and then got my head back into the game, back into the show and what I was here to do…perform. I knew in my mind my wife would be somewhere out there watching me. I wanted to do my best for her because when I sing I feel her in every word. I walked out to the roar of the fans. The lights were so powerful and warm I was unable to see beyond the edge of stage. I performed the entire show believing and imagining that Madison was seated there in the crowd beyond the blinding stage lights. I rarely strip off my shirt but tonight I had to rip it off as it was so hot on the stage.

  “That was an awesome show. The fans loved your extra show too,” Maxwell yelled. Maxwell may have thought I was adding to the show, but it was really all about my comfort—it was really hot out there.

  Before Maxwell could say one more word, Isaac was hollering “Lets Party!” All of us guys were high fiving one another. It was a great line up of shows thus far and not one bad one. All the sound and setup were continually spot on. The guys weren’t upset in any way that I was taking the spotlight and they were only in the background. They played just as hard as they ever did. I knew these guys like brothers and they made me proud.

  Before I could head out with them to go drink and celebrate, I pulled on a clean tee shirt. As my arms were going through the sleeves my hand was tugged. “Are you forgetting something?” Meila seductively said.

  I couldn’t remember what I was forgetting, “Do you plan to enlighten me on what that is?”

  Meila slowly began to pull my shirt down and then took her hand to smooth it in place, and lightly touched my chest. “Well Rand, I think you and I agreed to party together tonight. At least that’s what your actions lead me to believe.” I didn’t want to be rude and yet I didn’t want to mislead her either. I was about to finally tell her straight up that I didn’t want to be around her—that she made me nervous—but then I rethought that because she would eat that up. Then I thought I would just head back to my hotel room and bail on the band, but that wasn’t happening. I earned this celebration with them. As my phone rang, I excused myself and walked over to a quiet corner to take this call from my wife. My lips formed a smile before my first words reached my lips.

  “Hey Babe! First I love you, and that was a great show tonight but I just have to ask, should I be worried?”

  “I love you more, and should you be worried about what?” she had me curious.

  “Well I was cleaning up here at home when I returned, and a piece of paper fell out of your jacket pocket, and it looks like lyrics you wrote. They sound a lot like the song performed by Meila earlier.”

  “Madison, I was just as shocked when I heard her play that song tonight. Love, you need to listen to me. I did not write that for her. That note in my pocket was a piece that I never completed, and it was for you. Now that she has performed something similar, I’m going to toss it into the pile of ideas not to finish writing about in other words…the trash.”

  “Rand I was never really worried. I just thought that was odd. I reread that paper earlier and then tonight I caught the final song of her set. I usually miss that portion. You are going to have to do something far worse to ever get rid of me.” She laughed.

  Madison was so confident lately, “Love, I will never let you get rid of me.” I was so at ease with her voice trailing through my head. “Madison I miss you so much. I just wish I could hold you in my arms. All this—the shows, the fans, the traveling—has made me realize that all I ever dreamed of was you. You are what I need. Yes, this is great for my solo career, but I could sing just to you every day and get a better feeling in my heart.”

  “Listen, you stop this, and keep playing and traveling. You are halfway to coming home to me. I will make it to your final shows in New York City, that is so close to home and know that once you get to New York it will almost be over. But Rand, savor this experience. I love to write, and I want you to love to sing. Don’t feel anything but proud that you are out there and the fans love you. Just know I love you so much more.”

  “Okay. So, next we’ll be heading to Texas, and that’s the last stop before New York.” I tried to sound enthusiastic but was still hurting inside missing her.”

  “I’ll be waiting for my man. You get closer to me with each show,” Madison said and I was melting.

  She got quiet for a moment. “Love, Love?” I called out and still no response. “LOVE?”

  “Oh, Rand I’m here. I just got a surprise, the babies kicked and it took my breath away.”

  “Madison, see I should be there for all this first shit! I mean stuff, I should be.”

  “Oh, don’t you worry there will be many firsts for you to experience. It just felt so weird. So real that something, some tiny baby, is kicking from within me. My mom is coming over tomorrow to visit and spend the day with me. I hope they stir in my tummy then too.” She said sounding so pleased.

  “Well, Love I have to go. The whole band is staring at me, waiting to head to an after party. I don’t last too long at them. I’m a family man now. I fade early.” I laughed and so did she as I heard her say she missed me more and hung up before I ever let the words that I missed her leave my mouth.

  Been to one after party, been to them all. I used to love drinking all the beer until I was falling down before getting put into my bed in a hotel room. I remember often the door would open while I was shit faced drunk, and I could barely make out the form of a female’s body approaching the bed. What happened next was always the same. Some sex with a strange girl in the middle of the night after shows or practice. For me, it was some quick, uncomplicated physical relief. Then I would sleep it off in the sweaty, dirty smelling clothes from the show the night before and wake to some girl I didn’t know. They were never really bothered by that, or that she had partied too hard and was just as dirty. Now, walking around tonight with my first beer and nursing it slowly I was watching Isaac carrying on with some young girls. I knew exactly how his night was going to unfold. I really had cleaned up my life and my act so well since Madison came around. I thought I would just make my rounds through the people and then head back to my room, but then in front of me looking as lovely as she always does, was Meila.

  “Hey, I was looking for you,” she said sweetly, obviously trying a new approach. She had apparently realized that the aggressive moves weren’t working, and decided to go with something softer. Not that she needed to do anything to get me because she was not ever going to have me.

  “Well, I thought I would have a beer or two and then head to bed.”

  “Rand are you kidding me? What, have you become like fifty years old? Since when does a freaking rock star that just played an awesome show have a drink and go to bed, unless it is with someone?” Meila was suggesting.

  “Meila, no offense but you and I are never going to hook up. That shit just isn’t going to happen, not tonight, not any night!” I waved my left hand up to her. Next, Raeford pulled me over in
his direction. He is always so quiet, but I know he watches all the shit that plays out before his eyes.

  “Man you look like you need saving. That girl Meila has it bad for you. If you were drinking up a storm I would be following your ass around so that you didn’t screw your marriage up, but you seem to be fine. You’re not putting away those beers too fast, and I think you know what you have waiting for you on the east coast. You got me?” Raeford asked.

  “I got you. She just doesn’t want to give up, and she just keeps coming around. I don’t want to piss her off because we have a lot more shows, but I don’t want her to keep coming on to me. I wish Madison could have stayed. Meila stays at bay when Madison is here.”

  “All I know is, things are on thin ice with me and Jillian lately and even I won’t stray because I don’t want to screw it up with her. If it winds up being over then I will move on, but not until then. I know she’s too good for me, and although I think I should walk away and let her move on to someone better, I am staying and trying not to mess it up.”

  “I thought Madison was out of my league too, but look where it got me. I’m still pretty sure she’s too good for me, but man I love her so much. I know us guys don’t put our feelings out there, but shit, she has me in a vice. I can’t get through a day without her. This next leg of the tour in Texas is going to be brutal on me.”

  “Well, we got halfway through it already, Rand. We couldn’t be more proud of you taking the leap to solo out there and your vocals prove you are where you should be.”

  “Since you seem to be in a sharing mood, thanks man and not just for what you said, but for rescuing me from Meila. She is definitely out to bust up my happiness.” Then I reached out to grab another beer. The first one I babied, the second and several after went down so smooth. The coolness flowed over the lump in my throat that formed while thinking of my wife. I sat down after a bit listening to Maxwell brag about the shows, and Kent saying he’d be back. He was going to head to his room to have some late night pillow talk with Cecile. Ron was never one to hang out too long. I watched as he piled a plate full of food from the buffet, and then he was no where to be seen. I know he headed back to his room to spend hours with his girl Dahlia on the phone. He always had his phone to his ear even on the plane until it was time to shut it down. Other than on the plane, he only turned his phone off when we were about to go on stage. I often wonder if he ever forgets to silence the ringer, and it would go off during the concert. He had it set with the ringtone of, “Let’s Spend the Night Together” by The Rolling Stones. If it ever did happen, I’m sure the fans would eat it up. The bartender pointed to my empty beer, and asked if I wanted another. I wanted to signal no more, but I looked up and he had already brought me some more cold ones. I don’t remember when the shots started to line up either, but they were so quick to go down. My mind was easing up and feeling very calm. My body wasn’t hurting me anymore either, and as I put down the last empty bottle it became apparent to me that I was not going to be able to get up too well and make it to my room.

  A gentle hand slid up around my waist. Meila leaned into me and said “Let me help you to your room, Rock Star. I promise I won’t do anything to you that you don’t want me to.” I look into her eyes, her beautiful face. Madison’s here, and she looks so lovely, smiling at me.

  “Yes, take me to my room,” I respond without hesitation. I stagger, so I lean on her frame for support. As my hand hangs over her shoulder I couldn’t help but cop a feel. I would have her beautiful breasts it my mouth as soon as we got in the room. My fingers play openly with her nipples as I swirl my fingertip round and round, and feel them harden with my touch. I knew my girl and how her body reacted to me. A few people heading in the direction of the elevator stopped and let us go ahead. They knew I was taking my woman to bed at any moment, if not in the elevator itself. Once the door shut on us, I pull my arm off her shoulder and push her up against the wall. “I can’t help myself, I love you, you are so fffuuckkking bbbeautiful MMM…” I slurred my words but my tongue found hers and I gave her everything I could in my drunken state because I wanted to be with my wife right now. Only, her kisses didn’t feel the same. She nipped at my mouth in a way I never felt and played with my chest pulling hard at my nipples unlike the softness Madison usually shows me. The elevator opens onto a floor, and I don’t even know which floor my room is on.

  Standing pressed up against her in the elevator a person walks on and then turns to me as I continue to run my hands all over her. “Man what the fuck are you doing?” I heard the person say.

  “Mind your own damn business. This was our private elevator moment until you climbed on board!” and I continue reaching my hand under my wife’s short leather skirt. I heard her purr. Damn, Madison wearing this outfit is going to make me explode.

  “I said, WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING, RAND?” I hear that loud and clear and back off from Madison to deal with this shithead, but it’s Kent standing in the elevator. He is looking at me dumbfounded. I look at him and then back to Madison to tell her I’m going to deposit his ass on the next floor. Only when I look at her puffy lips and the top that is pulled down showing her tits, I realize it isn’t my Madison, it is Meila.

  “Oh my God! Oh Fuck!!! You’re not Madison. What the FUCK!!! Oh shit how much did I drink?” I began to ramble with my words and curse. I was frantic and confused.

  She looked at me with a slightly wicked smile, “Oh Rand if Kent hadn’t interrupted, this would have been so good. You taste divine. I knew you would come to me eventually. Rand, I’m not going anywhere. I know you’ll be back to experience some more.”

  Kent punched the next floor button and grabbed me by my shirt. When the doors opened he flung me out in front of the hotel guests. “You stupid fuck! Are you seriously trying to ruin your life, hurt other people? How could you forget about your wife?” Kent was pacing around me like a caged animal, and hotel guests were looking at us in amusement.

  “I thought she was Madison. I drank too much, I don’t know! Listen to me man, that’s the truth, I swear on my mom’s grave, on my sister’s grave.” I must have looked pathetic. My belt buckle was undone, and in few moments Meila’s hands would have been down my pants. I shuttered at that thought and, grabbed Kent in a man hug. This was crazy. Moments ago I almost ruined my marriage, my entire life, in a drunken moment. No more. I promised him and myself that I wouldn’t drink that much again for the rest of the tour. Kent finally pushed me away from him. I was glad that there weren’t fans snapping pictures of this moment. I felt horrible. Kent led me to my room. When he opened the door, I barely made it to the toilet to puke. There was nothing fun about getting sick, my stomach wrenching in pain as I was laying next to the cold toilet. I knew Madison was dealing with her morning sickness, but that was all for something good. What I felt here and now was pure disgust.

  Chapter Eight – Father’s Request

  I dragged my ass onto the plane. Kent stayed in between Meila and me. One time I glanced over at her, only to see her wink at me with a satisfied smile on her face. After that, I reached into my bag and pulled out a hat. I pulled it down over my face and decided to sleep. Nothing was going to happen with her. I was not going to drink too many at the after parties, and I was determined to stay far from her touch and advances. The tour was half over which meant it was only six more weeks until I would be home with my wife. Not that I needed a baby-sitter, but Kent felt the need to sit right next to me to ensure the seat was filled and that Meila would not move herself up next to me during the flight.

  “I got your ass covered,” Kent says.

  From under my hat I mutter “I know. I really owe you man, you saved my sorry ass last night.”

  “What did you do last night?” Isaac chimes in.

  “Nothing, absolutely nothing!” I reply and that was the extent of my plane ride conversation. I was done until they had to wake me to tell me that we landed.

  * * *

  With Rand now in the air fly
ing to his next destination, I am going crazy trying to stay busy. I don’t want to constantly dwell on his being so far away from me. Often I turn to my writing to pass the time, but I am not really working on anything of importance at the moment. I was already finished with my latest novel Mask of Rade. Cecile had already sent it off to New York to the editor for round one of their review. I was wishing I had it back to dive into with rewrites, but that wasn’t going to happen today. Since it is such a beautiful day outdoors with the warm summer air calm and not humid, I decide to go enjoy the fresh air for a little while. All the flowers outside are in full bloom. I walk out onto the porch and make my way down the path to the bench that we had. I know I could sit there enjoying my iced coffee, and look at the sky and wonder what state Rand is flying over. I think this peaceful time will allow me to think about all that lies ahead for us. As I sip my favorite brew, I look out into the garden and it feels so peaceful and enchanting with the exquisite variety of vibrant colors. I want to remember to write a piece titled Reflections describing how endearing our love story had become.

  With my feet tucked up by my side on the bench and the sun beating softly on my skin and soothing my body, I shut my eyes for a moment. I am lost in thought as my hands swirl across my stomach over the soft fabric of my sundress. Even with my eyes closed, I can still enjoy the colors of all the flowers. The image is vivid in my memory; the deepest purple and warmest golden yellow. My thoughts begin to wander to our loved ones that have passed on. I know that they would somehow get a glimpse of our happiness and our new babies. I replay their names in my head hoping they would hear the silent dedication.

  When I open my eyes again, the sun is blocked by the tall man in front of me. I never heard his approach. It is Paul Rand. Squinting now as he moves to one side and asks, “May I join you for a chat?” I don’t want to offend Rand’s father even though I really don’t know him. He always seems to just show up unannounced.