Love Notes ((Book Two of the Heartbeat Series)) Read online

  Rand was standing at the front and appeared nervous; he was talking to Maxwell who stood to his left side. He glanced down at me in the line up and winked. This sent a chill through my entire being. He formed his lips together, bringing them to a simple pucker and sent an air kiss that I knew landed itself right on my lips as I licked them to savor the taste of the invisible touch. Jillian began the walk toward the arbor setting. She had chosen a short version of a formal dress that was strapless black lace with a crème underlay and had a red sash that flowed longer than the dress length and she looked stunning as she moved forward and looked toward Raeford. He stopped to peek up at her from his drum and missed a beat; everyone laughed graciously breaking the nervous energy that surrounded this moment.

  I was pulled in closely to my mother and we walked down the aisle together. My mother looked so young and lovely next to me. She wore a crème satin fitted halter gown that shimmered in the afternoon sun. It looked like tiny rainbows arched over the fabric as she moved forward. I think I felt her hand shake in mine as we walked proudly as mother and daughter to stand in front of the minister. “Who gives this lovely woman away today in marriage?” the minister questioned and I glanced in her eyes and spoke up proudly, “I do,” as today was finally the day my mother and Jake would be tying the knot in confirmation of their long awaited love story. I cried as I released my hand from hers onto Jake’s awaiting secure hand. I looked to Rand grinning and he calmed me and he allowed me to silently take hold of my emotion so that I didn’t break down in front of them. I was so pleased that Rand was the best man for this day since Jake had taken such a liking to him and also to Maxwell that you would think they were family already.

  I cannot recall the actual words that were exchanged between my mother and Jake but I know I heard a few pieces of them and that they were from the cheat list that I had written for her in case she was nervous. I was so thankful that Rand and I had brought this day to them and made it happen. It had been just six months back that Rand brought my mother and uncle back into my life after so many years of not having them and this all seemed surreal. Being here, like I was having an out of body experience as I thought this was all a dream. Finally, after so many years without my mother, having here her inches from me and also having my uncle there and experiencing their love for one another was so memorable. I thought about how simply everything flowed from that moment Rand brought her back to me on Christmas day to the days that lead to today. Since I was now staying at Rand’s home it was so easy to relocate my mother and uncle to take up residence in my townhome. They loved it there once they agreed to move back to Pennsylvania. It took them just a short time to get readjusted from the weather of Galveston, Texas to the cold weather in Pennsylvania once again, but their hearts warmed them enough to be back close to me and all of us back in each other’s lives.

  My elbow was nudged by Jillian, and I came back to the present event of the marriage unfolding in front of me. I knew that somewhere above in the heavens that my father was resting peacefully and someway he was happy that all this was unfolding on the grounds below. He loved my mother and he loved his brother as well. The sun was shining radiant beams overhead brilliantly and it was simply a perfect day. I looked up to the heavens and smiled. Jillian reached up to my ear and whispered, “I know what you’re thinking,” and she surely did. I winked at her letting her know I was comforted in my thoughts.

  Beside me my mother stands surrounded with happiness and not just for today, I know it will carry with her in the days ahead. To see this devotion my Uncle Jake has in his piercing look into her eyes, it makes me so happy to have put together this entire day for them to celebrate and finally unite as a couple.

  The rest of their union in marriage went so beautifully and as we all paired together and to move from the ceremony to photographs, there was one location I left instructions for a picture moment not to be missed. I recall when I first moved in with Rand, I only brought a few personal items, my clothes, my writings but I did add one lovely new item. I selected a bench and had it placed out near the far corner of the property in front of the flower garden. I told him it would be our place to sit and reflect all of our past loved ones, his twin Ashley, his mother Angela, his grandfather and my father who recently passed.

  From time to time he and I would sit there in silence and take in the colorful floral view. It was a personal setting to be at peace with those we lost and a way to keep them close to our hearts here on the property. Rand loved this idea when I first mentioned it to him. Today this bench will play a different part as it will be a charming backdrop for many memorable wedding photographs.

  In addition to the posed shots the photographer took, some very comical candid shots were captured as well. As he gave us all the go ahead to enjoy the reception, I felt Rand’s fingers sweep across the sash of my gown. He rested them on the edge of my hip and tucked a few fingers to hold on tightly to the edges of the lace fabric. He dipped into my ear and whispered, “I want you to marry me. Let’s get things picked out soon, like a date and a ring, let’s do this.” I tipped my head toward his soft whispering and told him with my eyes how truly happy I was. I nodded to him in agreement as I knew in the days ahead it would be our memorable wedding day. There would be a ring on my left finger that would shine and display the love I feel that warms me. All the moments of a wedding day flow together so quickly and it was all too soon that it was the midst of the reception and everyone is dancing, eating and having the best time. The Rolling Isaac’s had kept to a lesser rock version of music and played mostly all their favorite covers. It was when I pushed toward the bar area to get a glass of wine, I placed my order with the caterer’s bartender and I then saw Rand approach the microphone. I knew what he had been practicing lately and this was going to be a very special song for the newly married couple. I turned my back toward the bartender and rested myself there against the bar to watch Rand as he was about to sing. Rand took hold of the microphone like us ladies take to shoes, we slip them on and we know they fit perfectly. He held onto it and began to speak. I hung onto his every word.

  “Everyone,” Rand spoke loudly, “I just want to take a moment for this lovely couple to dance to a track I have been working on. It’s about love, something I recently realized I could have. This is for Grace and Jake as they have wished in their hearts for this day and they believed one day it would happen. So here it is, titled Cross Your Heart.”

  Sing out the song,

  It will take you in

  Sing it back,

  Over again you begin.

  Again, sing it out loud.

  For all to hear,

  I need to feel the beat

  Of your heart near.

  This heart of mine

  Beats only for you.

  My heart is yours,

  given to only few.

  So cross your heart

  and hold your breath with me.

  Follow me, and hold, hold on

  hold on, hold on

  Believe

  and you will see.

  Again, sing it out loud.

  for all to hear,

  I need to feel the beat

  of your heart near.

  So cross your heart

  and hold your breath with me.

  Follow me, follow me

  and hold,

  hold on

  Please believe

  and you will see.

  Sing out the song,

  It will take you in

  Sing it back,

  and again you begin.

  So cross your heart

  and hold your breath with me.

  Follow me, follow me

  and hold,

  hold on

  Please believe

  and you will see.

  Hold on,

  Hold on

  and believe.

  Just before Rand started the song he sought me out in the reception area. He focused his deep blues on me and between the words
he sang and the emotion that poured through him; I knew he wrote that for me in mind but gifted it to my mother today. I gestured a touch to my heart and I said I love you with the silent motion of my lips. Rand hesitated a moment, let out a deep sigh in his microphone and then pulled it together and finished the piece wonderfully.

  My mother and uncle swept across the dance floor with love in their eyes. I turned and lifted the wine that was sitting there during his performance and sipped it down to coat the large lump in my throat. Emotion is a powerful thing. It can make the largest lump in your throat making it hard for you to pull it together and swallow. I had become overwhelmed lately by this newness of my world rocking and that is what had been happening to me ever since Rand proposed to me. I was full of emotion that I never thought I would have in my entire lifetime coming to me like opened floodgates.

  I hadn’t noticed the music paused, but when I looked at the stage, the band was there without Rand. He was next to me and had his hand extended, “Love, dance with me, my wife to be.” I could not refuse as my heart leaped forward in motion before I even moved my feet. The band began to play the moment I fell into his arms and I didn’t leave his embrace the rest of the night or even until the next morning. What a perfect memorable day it had been.

  Chapter Two – Uncertainty

  There is never a day or moment that doubt or uncertainty doesn’t play into all our minds. With the wedding of my mother and uncle behind us, which was done and done very well, they had taken a honeymoon in the Caribbean to St. Martin. We were going to head over to catch up with them to see the photos and hear all about it this weekend. I was feeling a little low today because I just read in an email from Maxwell to the band and he copied me that they were leaving next week for a two month series of shows for July and August to take them traveling and playing from Chicago to Las Vegas. I was happy for Rand as this is his occupation, but part of me could silently wish he was an accountant in an office, or a school bus driver that didn’t take him too far away. I guess I still had deep-seated doubt in my belly that I was not all that he would need forever. I knew he would be contacting me via phone and text as he always was good at this even before we became engaged. Something though, a small nagging feeling pricked at me like a devil poking me in one shoulder. I shrugged it off and picked up my phone and texted my love.

  Hey Babe, I just wanted to send you a kiss if in words alone. I know you have a heavy practice schedule this entire week. I plan to catch up with Thomas to go over all my father’s details. You don’t have to worry again about him and I…you have my heart in your possession. I love you.

  It took not even seconds, for his reply.

  I want to explore that kiss and not in words but actions, see you later, hold onto that thought. I love you. Love, think of me when you meet up with Thomas. Remember you are all mine.

  With a smile on my face, I then dialed Thomas knowing all too well he would pick up the phone on the first ring. He was very predictable. “Hello Thomas,” I spoke, and yes, it was only half through the very first ring and he picked up. “I have been meaning to catch up with you to go over my father’s home sale and all his requested personal will items. Can you meet me for lunch?”

  Thomas cleared his throat and said, “I always have time for you my Madison, and I can clear my day for you today if that works?”

  I let his comment of, “my Madison” escape me as I was no longer his Madison. I belonged to Rand, but I replied, “Yes, today actually works fine.”

  We chatted briefly catching up as over the past months we had kept in touch from time to time. Thomas had heard that Rand proposed to me and that I said yes. He never asked when or if we had set a date to marry and he never asked about Rand. When Thomas spoke to me it was just like it was still only the two of us. My father left a will that specified particular wishes in terms of his belongings and his property, but since his passing I’d left it all unattended to. Thomas was quite the experienced financial businessman, and he pushed me to get moving with them. So when Thomas kept offering to help me in this area, I said he could. I was preoccupied with the moving of my mother and uncle to Pennsylvania and into my townhome, and then busy with my move to Rand’s home and then the wedding planning for my mother’s special day. I had hardly had any extra time for anything else.

  Since Thomas worked in the city, it would be easier for me to drive into town to meet him. I had hung up the phone after we decided to meet at a restaurant on the water’s edge that was a tall ship renovated into a lovely waterside restaurant. Being a nice warm summer day this would be a very nice place to catch up and go over all the details of what Thomas had been working on for me. I dressed simple in a tank dress with sandals and I wrapped a belt around the waist. I grabbed a short cardigan in case we had to sit indoors and the air conditioning would be too cool. I didn’t need to impress my former husband, but if it was Rand I was meeting I would have added some more makeup, jewelry and heels. Yes, Rand agreed after my mother’s wedding day that he enjoyed seeing me all dressed up. More than that, he loved the high heels and I definitely would not have toted a cardigan as I would have sought out his arms to warm me if I chilled.

  When I arrived at the restaurant, of course, Thomas was already there and waving toward me. Perhaps he thought I would not have seen him. Thomas had already requested a perfect table on the deck facing the water with a large banana hanging umbrella covering us above. He approached me as I walked up to him and he swept in to my face for a kiss, I turned and he caught just the edge of my jaw bone. I smiled as if sorry but I knew I was not. He then pulled me in for a hug questioning me as to how long had it been since we had seen one another. Again I smiled in apology but I wasn’t unhappy that it was a long time.

  Our waitress approached us and we ordered a round of drinks, for me a glass of wine would have been fine, and Thomas knowing what I liked from when we were married was about to make a selection for me, but then I noticed their summer Sangria selection and switched my decision to one of them. He stopped in his speech to order for me and then just asked the waitress to bring him a craft beer on tap and he added what we selected for our lunch choices. For me, it was a barbeque glazed salmon over a bed of arugula with mandarin oranges and a sweet Asian salsa, for Thomas, a Prime Burger platter. Our conversation began to flow freely and Thomas handed over a large manila envelope of papers that he had for me to sign and also to take with me after our meeting. He had really stepped up and helped me with a real estate agent in the city that he knew very well and my father’s house sold, and in the bad home market, he got me a great price. He also helped with all the monies that my father had stated in his will. So Thomas had set me up with some investments and a sizeable check as well.

  Since I really didn’t have a steady income, being a writer the pay comes here and there. Even though I got paid for all the items I had written, and when I would speak at seminars, I still was appreciative that I now had large, safe investments for the future and also money to deposit and perhaps spend on a few items I had planned to do. One was to take Rand on a mini vacation when he had some down time, just him and I. I felt like he was always taking care of me. I moved in with him and well, he provided everything. The home, the warmth, the comfort. I wanted to do a B & B at the beach or something so that he and I could focus on one another, uninterrupted. I really wanted to focus on just being with him even if I was just seated by his side although I wouldn’t mind his stunning body and him alone. Here I am seated across from Thomas and thinking of wet thoughts of Rand and I.

  “Madison, so I don’t see a ring, is everything okay between you and you know who?

  It took me a moment to clear my thoughts from my head, “What did you ask?” Thomas repeated himself. I answered, “We are good, very good. Just haven’t gotten to get the ring yet, we’ve been busy.”

  Thomas took my left hand, rubbing his fingers over my knuckles and then swirling his finger around my bare left hand ring finger, and said “If I asked for your hand
in marriage I would surely have a ring on it as I had done in the past.” He continued, “Your not having a ring may lead people to believe that you’re not in a serious relationship.”

  I peered at him and in my thoughts, I wished Thomas would stop pressing issues about Rand and get over it. I knew I didn’t need to tell him that Rand and I were truly committed and would be getting to the ring in the future because this was actually none of his business anymore. In fact Rand and I were just discussing the ring and setting a date at my mother’s wedding. I knew what we meant to one another.

  As I pulled my hand back it was great timing, the waitress had brought our lunch platters. I didn’t look up, I just began to take hold of my fork and eat. Before the waitress left our table, Thomas spoke to her ordering us a second round of drinks. The warmth of the day enveloped us as we were seated on the expanding deck overlooking the water. It was not beautiful blue water but the reflection of the sun danced on the ripples as the small boats passed along the river’s path. I was again lost in thought staring at the movement in the water. I was thinking that Rand was about to embark for a few months again to travel. He would be traveling away from me not toward me. I wanted to talk to someone about my insecurities about this, but Thomas was not my go to person. I needed to get through today’s lunch and then I would catch up with Jillian when Rand was away as she would relate to my heart sinking as hers would be too, because her and Raeford were getting along real fine lately and she would be missing him too.

  Snap, Snap I heard, and I blinked to see Thomas clicking his fingers together, trying to remind me he was having lunch with me. “Oh, sorry, I drifted there a bit.” He smiled and again put his hand into mine, this time taking his fingers underneath and slowly touching my palm, I slowly pulled my hand away. He then gradually took more initiative and moved his hand away and began to slide his chair closer to mine so he could take in the river view without his back being toward it. He leaned up shutting his eyes and took in the sun’s rays as he also closed in by my side. He laid his head on my shoulder and began to nuzzle into my ear. I shifted my shoulder down dropping it quickly so that his head jolted off of me.