Rock Notes (Book One of the Heartbeat Series) Read online

  “Madison he is so gorgeous and so kind, he has my approval, and I so happy you have found someone.”

  “Mom, he is great on the eyes, but I’m really unsure what we are to one another, but I’m hopeful.”

  Rand left us alone to reconnect for quite awhile. When the day turned into the evening, I slipped out to my car to retrieve Rand’s gift. I brought it in to share with him while I left my mother and uncle talking with Maxwell and other guests that Rand invited. I took his hand in mine and lead him to the living room and where there were, yes, three more decorated trees all different sizes each with so many colorful decorations and hanging musical note ornaments. Truly at this point I had lost count of the many trees that he had professionally decorated, but the holiday decorations were so beautifully orchestrated.

  We sat of the sofa near the fireplace and surrounded with this fresh cut tree line view. I handed him a gift box. I spoke as I was dazzled by his blue eyes.

  “Rand I didn’t know what to get you for the holiday, but then I stumbled upon this and I knew it was meant for you. I cross my heart that I have so enjoyed every moment since we’ve met.” I leaned in and took hold of his face and pulled him in to kiss his lips tenderly.

  Rand opened the box and looked so happy; there was a cuff bracelet like mine but this one had a cross that shimmered and picked up all the light from the Christmas trees. It was mesmerizing. He hadn’t worn the cuff for Ashley on his wrist since I learned of her story. In fact, that cuff was now on the memorabilia wall in his corner. So he removed the cuff from the box and let me fasten it tightly to his wrist, and I kissed it when I was done. He pulled me closer and we kissed, staying in that embrace for some time without any mistletoe near us.

  We joined the others and Rand had one more holiday surprise up his sleeve. He announced, “Thank you all for coming today. I hope you’re having fun. I would now like to play a tune I’ve been working on. It’s called Our Holiday. And Rand began to play–

  I could live all my holidays

  If I could spend them along with you.

  Every breath of this lifetime,

  Is another moment I wait to come true.

  As you are a beloved gift for me

  I’ll wrap you delicately in shades of love,

  I’ll tie us with a thick bow of wonder

  For us each to thank our maker above.

  Because every holiday is nothing without you,

  Every moment everyday is celebration in my heart

  Cheerfulness surrounds me as I reach a touch of you,

  Every moment everyday keeps building from the start.

  I was the one, who saw you just below my stage,

  Something unspoken was captured deep in your look.

  I never knew what could be ahead of us.

  But I am certain of the passionate path we took.

  Here it is now the whitening of wintertime,

  Let us make our festival together,

  Savor my gift of my words and song.

  Please stay wrapped within our holiday of forever.

  Because every holiday is nothing without you,

  Every moment everyday is celebration in my heart

  Cheerfulness surrounds me as I reach a touch of you,

  Every moment everyday keeps building from our start.

  Everyday is a holiday as long as you are near.

  Everyday is my holiday as long as you are near.

  He sang this with so much emotion. We were hanging on at the end of the song wanting more. He lifted his head several times while playing his guitar and caught my eyes and sang. I was so teary that I wasn’t sure if I could ever cry this much in a day again. I realized that I had become his inspiration behind this song and he felt something very deep for me. I was now going to need something to drink. I think I’d dehydrated myself from all of the crying. When he finished everyone clapped loudly and went up to him with a warm hug. I cannot believe watching all this love overflowing in this house today that I almost didn’t come here.

  Chapter Twelve – New Year’s Rocking Eve

  With one of the best Christmases behind me ever, I glanced at my notebook that remained open to the page I wrote the morning after Christmas Day. The read over the love note I wrote as I pulled a tissue from the box to wipe my eyes several times.

  Rand:

  In so long, for so many years I cannot remember my holidays ever being as special as they were this year. I can only hope that in the years to come that possibly we will make many great memories. If we do not make it as a couple then I will forever treasure the holidays we shared and store them in my head, like tucking your favorite things in an attic. I will pull those memories when I need to go to my happy place. Besides the gift of you in my life, there has been no greater gift than that of you bringing my mother to reunite with me. I am so filled with joy of having her and my uncle back close to me. I hope that she will come to love you as I do and get to know you, remember I will be at the same time getting to know her all over again. Sometimes in life the best things are new beginnings.

  You are my new start and I am ready to begin to move forward and take many steps with you. I think there is a reason for most happenings in life and I believe there was one that pulled us together.

  I am sure there is a cheering section in the heavens pulling for you and me. I am so blessed to have you every day.

  I hope I keep you challenged and hope I keep you intrigued and know you will build my confidence and make me a much stronger person.

  As the fireplace burns and mesmerizes me with its formations, I am just as captivated by you. Your warmth surrounds me and it feels like home. I feel the comfort of having a glass of milk and holiday sprinkled cookies. Happy Holidays to you my love. Maybe one day I will call you my love out loud.

  Maddy xo

  With Christmas day behind me, I had a full next few days. First, I had to do damage control and return one of the many voicemails that Thomas left me after I abruptly left his condo Christmas day. I inhaled deeply and dialed his cell phone. Mentally I was praying for his voicemail. Thomas answered his phone before the second ring started; he could see it was me calling in.

  “Madison, it is about time you called, I left you so many messages and thought that I did something wrong that made you run. I only wanted to make your day special.”

  “Thomas you didn’t deserve me fleeing the condo, but I felt panicked and needed to get air and there was someplace else my heart had to be.”

  “Did you run to Rand’s? Never mind, I already know the answer, but tell me, don’t you think you ran to the wrong arms as his will never keep you safe? Madison he will never love you like I do, he will not stay true to you, he could never. I know how he is; you will come back to me when he fails you.”

  “Thomas wasn’t it you that left me, failed me?” Thomas’ outburst shocked me but I continued anyway. I knew I didn’t need to share any of this with him but I did. I told him all about all of the things that made my holiday great. “I met my mother again thanks to Rand. I don’t know what lies ahead for Rand and me, or if there even is a Rand and me, but I need to be with him now and see where this is heading.”

  “I didn’t mean to upset you, I just thought we’d always be together, I guess you have plans for New Years too?”

  “Well, I’ll be spending time with my mother for the next several days, and I have New Years plans and plans to move my life forward. Happy New Year Thomas, you should crack that bottle of port wine open and enjoy.”

  “Madison you and Rand will not last, you will fade like the lights after his concerts,” he had to get in the last word. I did not respond. I knew I had to breakaway and step forward without him and I knew that I had grown and would definitely survive. I focused on what brought me inner strength and a smile, it was seeing my mother again after so many years and having Rand in my life. “Goodbye Thomas,” was all I could give him to close our conversation.

  My mother and Uncle Jake wanted to stay at the
hotel that Rand had set them up in to not cramp my style even after I repeatedly asked them to join me at my home since we left Rand’s on Christmas night. They did come over and stay for the entire day yesterday and then I had to return them to the hotel. I knew I would be busy this week as they were staying for a few days and wanted to visit my father’s gravesite. I wanted Rand to know just how special all this was but knew he was planning a huge party for New Year’s Eve and was busy with that. I offered to help him but he said he had it all under control. I sent him a quick message –

  Rand, hey, I’m thinking of you. I’m spending such good new moments with my mother and uncle. I plan to visit my father’s resting place with them tomorrow and then having lunch. I want to thank you for the BEST holiday I can remember. See you New Year’s. I have to think of a great resolution. Let me know yours.

  Miss you and by the way, my mother is now a fan of yours, she adores you. See you have a pull with the older women too.

  He replied –

  My heart is smiling for you all. This has been a long time coming. Let me know if you want me with you at the cemetery. Plus since your mom likes me so much I would get another time to see her. Hey, the New Year’s gig is going to be awesome. A lot of people are bringing more people, it keeps growing. By the way, Russ from Bejeweled is flying in for the party and hopes to do some New Year’s inks. Is there anything you want tattooed by him?

  I remember my body piercing and that shiver of excitement and rush of sensations, but that was hard enough for me to get through, I sent him –

  Don’t you recall my body piercing fright? Multiply that by 100 and that would be how I’d be with a tattoo. I’ll pass. How about you? Getting anything new added to your stunning collection? And yes, please come along tomorrow. I will text you the address of the gravesite and the time later as I have to check it with my mother. That is really weird writing to you saying my mother…Miss you.

  Perhaps Rand was missing having his family, his mom, his sister and his dad so I didn’t want to cut him out of tomorrow with my family. My phone sounded –

  I don’t have anything new to ink on this body just yet. Hey that will be my New Year’s resolution to have the next tattoo I put on my body in the New Year to be the best one ever drawn and the last one applied. See you tomorrow. Thanks for letting me come along.

  It was an odd feeling meeting at the cemetery. I picked up my mother and my uncle and we rode over together. I had sent Rand a message telling him when we would be there so he could join us. As we drove the skies were grey and the clouds were looking heavy and there was that distinct smell in the air of snow. My mother was here with me, this was so hard to believe. I thought after so many years had passed that we would never know one another again. I was so thankful in my heart that Rand brought us together.

  I glanced at her as I drove and saw myself in her as she spoke to me and my uncle. Her mannerisms were similar to mine in her laughing and speaking. I smiled at her and took her hand in mine as I drove with my other. She told me on the drive that she never meant to hurt me or my father, but she loved my Uncle Jake so much and could not stop their connection. She told me that people told her that the age difference between her and my uncle which was about the same as my age difference with Rand would not work out. I guess she proved them all wrong as they have been together for so long. I see in my uncle too how he hangs on her every word and is always by her side. I have seen him kiss her and hold her hand and it just flows out of them, the love they have. And all these years they have never married.

  She talked about Rand and his kindness, she kept calling him Max which is his real name, but I don’t hear anyone call him that but his fans. As we turned into the cemetery I saw the first snowflake dance down and land on my windshield. I saw Rand in the parking lot looking as handsome as ever. He held in his hands a bouquet of crème roses. My heart twisted inside my chest.

  It was a short walk to my father’s resting place. The snow had begun to swirl about more but with the lightest touch to our hair and face. We stood and said our silent thoughts to my father and Rand held onto my hand. Rand then knelt down in front of my father’s headstone and spoke.

  “I promise I will watch over her now.”

  I got tears in my eyes. My mother was crying and my Uncle Jake spoke, “Brother Mick, I will miss you always, I have for so long. I am so sorry I hurt you and Madison for the love of Grace, but please know I love her so much and will always take care of her.”

  My mother reached and hugged my uncle and we all turned to leave and the flakes started to become more steady and thicker. My mother and uncle got into my car and I walked Rand over to his Hummer. We stood there and looked into one another’s eyes and kissed in between the snow flakes that appeared glistening on our faces. I tilted my head to the side and Rand found an exposed part of my neck, just above the collar of my coat. He gently flicked his tongue on my skin tasting the wetness of the fallen, melted fleck. I wanted him to keep licking and I felt my breathing increase. I tilted my head back further and stuck out my tongue to catch the flakes. Rand came toward the edge of my tongue and met it with his and then took in my lips only to stop and tell me, “Hey we aren’t alone, let’s get them to lunch. Madison you know what’s ironic?”

  “What’s ironic is kissing here at the cemetery getting a rise from the dead?” I smiled.

  “No, not that, I don’t think there is going to be much snow coming but it started snowing the moment we arrived. I think your father knew we were all here.”

  “If you believe that then I’m glad he knows you were here and he saw you kissing me. If he is watching us from above then he surely must know how happy you make me.” We left there not with sadness but smiles in our hearts.

  We had a wonderful lunch that followed and I noted mentally how much my mother was interested in Rand’s music and she carried on so much conversation with him. He felt very comfortable with her. My uncle talked about so many things he hoped we would be able to do going forward. We discussed me coming to visit them in Texas and of course they would come back up here to see me. After lunch Rand had to leave us as he had too much to do at his home for New Year’s preparations. He hugged my mother closely and kissed her cheek. She seemed star struck; I saw it in her eyes. He shook Jake’s hand firmly and took him in for a man hug. As for me, I felt his breath skim past my face and the heat of a quick kiss that sparked something inside of me. He said goodbye and he’d see me in a few days. My mother said she knew he liked me. She knew she liked him for me, in fact she believed he could be in love with me. She said Rand looked at me as my Uncle Jake looked at her. After all these years my mother finally meets a man that I want in my life, she missed out on my entire married life with Thomas.

  As quickly as Rand said goodbye, it seemed like I was telling my mother and uncle goodbye again as they were heading to the airport to fly back to Texas. I refused to cry at their departure. I knew we would keep in touch and I felt so happy for the time we had just spent. As I waved and turned I reached for my phone that had an incoming message. Rand sent –

  Hope they got off safely and hope you are not crying, be happy that you saw them and I enjoyed getting to know them. I know when you age you will always be beautiful as your mother is still such a lovely woman. See you soon.

  I replied –

  I was about to cry but didn’t, I was a big girl. As for my mother, watch it as I know you like us older women. Besides she thinks you are so yummy, I say hot, she said yummy. I caught her gazing at you several times. Anyway don’t get me started on thoughts of gazing at you, I have to drive home on the expressway, I cannot be sexting… so I will see you at this grand party real soon.

  I knew he would respond for sure and then it came –

  Oh Madison please do some sexting, it has been way too long for us to not have had a long uninterrupted moment. Please send me something sexy and hot. Make me think of you more until the party. Please.

  I cannot believe he was begging�
��I took my phone lifted up my shirt, snapped a photo and sent it to him. His response was quick –

  My secret music note belly gem, nice, not entirely what I had in mind, but it will have to do and I will be thinking of what I will be doing around this little gem when I see you. Drive safe, no photo taking on the road.

  My ride home from the airport was mixed with emotions that I hadn’t felt in so long. I had a love that poured into my heart for my mother and I accepting one another and I also had a yearning desire for Rand to have him give me love if he could. Yes, he was always playful with me and kind, but was that all he would ever offer to my heart? I wanted him so, but so much more of him that I wasn’t sure was there.

  My mind was busy the next two days getting ready for this party, and making certain I called and talked to my mother and uncle once they got back to Texas. I had made yet another pile outside my closet on the floor trying to put together the perfect New Year’s Eve outfit. I think I finally found something that would work. I selected a long black skirt that actually was completely sheer from the thigh down. I decided on a shimmering silver halter top and that way my heart cuff bracelet would stand out on my wrist. I chose heels even though the weather was still a little icy out from a recent dusting of snow.